Wednesday, May 14, 2008 . 12:18 AM

Hmm. Just didn't want to go to sleep. So I'm blogging now.

Last Night - Ryan Cabrera

Can you feel the rain
Can you feel the cold surround you
You and I are the same
Perfect in our own weird way

Do you believe that things can change
Do you believe they stay the same
'Cause I don't need your light to light my way
I don't need it I'm wide awake

Last night's the last time
I'll shut my eyes
I wanna leave my best side behind when I go
I want you to know
I want you to know

Can you feel me breathe
Can you feel the heart that's beating
I'm sick and tired of feeling
The candle burn inside me

Do you believe that people change
Do you believe they stay the same
'Cause I don't need your light to light my way
I don't need it I'm wide awake

Last night's the last time
I'll shut my eyes
I wanna leave my best side behind when I go
I want you to know that last night's the last time I'll run and hide
I wanna believe I lived my life on fire when I go
I want you to know
I want you to know

Last night's the last time
I'll shut my eyes
I wanna leave my best side behind when I go
I want you to know that last night's the last time I'll run and hide
I wanna believe I lived my life on fire when I go
I want you to know

Tuesday, May 13, 2008 . 11:12 PM

HAHA! although blogger is being stoopz again and refuses to let me upload photos, i shall just blog.
haha cuz i suddenly feel very excited about being a CAMP FACIL!
can school hols quickly come quickly come.
haha though there're really dumb stuff like open house coming up :(
Open house USED TO BE FUN.
haha cuz this year jnrs aren't in singapore. damn sad.
hmm but still. there is alot to look forward to!
though i guess i just want to like have fun during hols and stuff.
But nahhhh i'm gonna study and train and find a part time job!
yeah, i shall try to get around to doing that.
ohhh FOOD at scc yesterday was damn good. weekends were tiring. and everyday's tiring cuz it's too busyyyy!
haha but it's fun.
omg pls don't let me be some games station person or whatever crap thingy for camp. plsplspls. and omg i wanna stay up to look at stars all night and take lots of photos and be a cool camp facil! haha. okayyy plsplspls i wanna lead a group and a wish i dont get some idiot as my fellow camp facil.

Sunday, May 4, 2008 . 9:05 PM

Mouth shut - the veronicas

Won't keep my mouth shut anymore
I've had my share of closing doors
Now I know I'm not afraid
I know exactly what you'll say
But I'm sorry it's too late

'Cause I'm feeling lost
When I'm in your arms
The reasons are gone
For why I was holding on to you
I tried so hard
To be the one
I don't like who I've become


I don't like endings. Guess i try to delay endings, or refuse to admit that everything has been said and done, that there's nothing else to it. I get really pissed off sometimes. Pissed off that people can change like that, so you have something better to move on to. So you might have a zillion friends, how does that make it easier for you to forget. Was looking through the photos in my computer, and i dunno, the photos seemed very real. Like they weren't photos, but moments. It's like looking at a photo and remembering everything about that moment, knowing exactly why we were smiling so happily. But the moment's long gone and i know, if we were back at the same place things are gonna be different. And i'm kinda confused. Cuz there're so many things that have happened in my life that i haven't told you about and so many things in your life that probably never crossed your mind to share with me. And I guess I want to tell you how everyone's changing so fast and how things are slipping through my fingers and you'll probably not understand because people don't leave you. I guess they all just flock to you like bees to honey. you were probably never not good enough for anyone, and you probably never hesitated to call someone cuz they might not want to talk to you. You probably never had to spend time being alone or tried to find a way to make things right. k alright i think i'll probably just take this post off soon.

Sunday, April 27, 2008 . 12:22 PM

Omg bad weekend.
haha my handphone spoilt. damn sad omg. repair costs 200 bucks so now my dad's pissed.
and my little toe started bleeding after some woman with killer heels stepped on it when the bus jerked :( And i'm getting nowhere with revision.

It's just a feeling i get, that makes me wonder how it turned out like that.
Was in my fault that I just assumed we'd never change. Or did you just move on.
It isn't that I'm not trying to salvage this, i'm trying the only way i know how to. But you don't even care right?
It's no big deal, we never really played a big role in each other's lives, but i just thought, that we didn' t have to cuz we were past that. I know you changed, I know I don't know anything about your life and vice versa, and I know we haven't talked for ages. But I thought some things would always remain the same.
I guess i can't expect people to never move on. But sometimes i want to scream at you for being so selfish, but i can't help it if you don't ever find the need to call me for a chat, or if you don't remember my birthday, or if you see our friendship as a responsibility. like something you just have to do for the sake of it. If it is then what the heck just get out of my life.

I guess it's just another person in my life that i'm not good enough for. I'm so sick and tired of this.

And, no lah, it's not about you, whoever's reading this. cuz whoever i'm talking about would never come to my blog.

Saturday, April 26, 2008 . 12:59 PM

I love my class!
Who knew the boring and stressful midyears period could be so fun x)
Have been staying back in school so very often. Stayed back to study with Jass and Sandy on thurs! Jass left early, but Sandy and I stayed till 9 haha. School afterhours is much better than school in the day x)

And this goes out to Mr.security guard that refused to open the school gates for me and Sandy: Omg you're such an ass.

K anyway, yesterday was emo day no.2 (emo day no.1 was last friday)
most of 408 was just emo-ing about bio results during english cuz we had a free block. Cheerup Jass! Triple T.K.A for midyears!
Anw, emoing over bio with 408 is funnaye.
Well, then i went running with Jass and Ellyn, and Mr.ong's student was running her 2.4, so he asked me to pace her. So yeah i did a good deed. Cool.
Haha then after that Jass and I were talking about like some nonsense HAHA. so we couldnt really do work, we went taka to buy doughnuts instead, and talked more nonsense. talking to Jass is fun.
haha then i spent my night talking on the phone, which beats studying bio. haha and i realized that i talk alot of nonsense, and this is like another week which went by that i think i'm a loser. haha. Anyway, thanks friend, for listening to me rant x)

Wednesday, April 23, 2008 . 1:05 AM

hmm...suddenly felt like blogging cuz i managed to finish my R-formula worksheet without any help x) sense of accomplishment. haha.
I suddenly feel very thoughtful. About stuff. Alot of things running through my mind now, i guess it just kinda feels likes I'm getting nowhere with whatever i do.
Haha if only i could read minds x) Then I'd know the right things to do and the just right thing to say. I'm not trying to be everything to everyone, i just don't like friends to distance. I wish I could capture moments in my life, not just photos. But i guess everyone captures moments, in their memories. I was just thinking about stuff that happened in the past few years, and there're just certain moments, that i never consiously tried to remember, but I can never forget. Some stuff that i remember, are completely mundane, nothing special, but i guess there's just something significant somehow. A feeling worth remembering.

haha and midyears are coming! My studies are in a mess :(
And yesterday was such a longgggg day, so tiring.
Well, at least I had a fun weekend x)
k, i shall be really mugger from now onwards.

Saturday, April 19, 2008 . 10:20 AM

Had quite a horrible week.
And it's one of those weeks that many things happened so Monday seemed like 5 years ago or smth.
So anyway, yesterday was one of those days that everyone was having a bad day.
At school, Jass was really stressed about stuff, cheer up JASSELYN!
And then Xian Ning and weren't in the best of moods either. We stayed back in school to jog on the track, cuz we wanted to try out 2.4, but sec 3s were taking their 2.4, so we had to run on the outer lane. Haha we had so many failed attempts trying to run during recess/lunch/after school for the entire week. Yeah well, then we did math, haha but we didn't actually do much math, cuz we just started bitching about stuff. Rawr, our lives just suck. Geez why are we the ones that get all the crap. I mean seriously, life really really sucks sometimes, and i don't even know why I can joke about it. Well yeah, it's not a joke, but i guess it's quite laughable, chasing after things that are so out of reach.

Then Sandy joined us and we did more maths and some walking around the school. And cuz the guides had their annual assembly/campfire at night, so the school was in a really festive kind of mood, with party decorations and party hats and balloons! And it just seemed like a really nice day to just hang out in school. Xn left at 7, but Sandy and I stayed back in school to hang around and kinda, do math. We ended up leaving after all the guides stuff. Haha I'm glad i hung around at school instead of going home, it would suck cuz i just wasn't in a good mood yesterday. Well, hope everyone's much more cheered up today! Though that's like, unlikely luh. School's cool x) And yeah, this was a long week, and it's only saturday morning.

Okay KohJiaWen owes me photos. Nice nice clarke Quay photos k. And i think Elaine has the OM photos. Haha and JiaWen says she uploaded the photos on facebook and I'm not gonna get them unless i go get a facebook account. And Lifang owes me alot of photos i think, like any photo we've ever taken since the last 3 1/4 years. haha okay who else owes me photos? Mabel probably does.