Tuesday, March 25, 2008 . 8:14 PM

Josiah Leming - Her

Car door's frozen
I can't get to you
Your window's open
The cold air's pouring through
Your bones are broken
The belt won't let you loose
And i'm left hoping
That you might wake up soon

I just stand and watch as they pull you from another world
Unraveling twisted plots, oh i wish you were another girl

And i'll set the world on fire
Cause i could not satisfy her

Empty hallways
You can't get to me
Open doorways
But you're still searching for your keys
And i can't open
The ears for which i sing
So i'll just pass along
And baby you'll start to hear me

You just sit and stare as if i'm from another land
In your comfortable chair, oh i wish i were another man

And i'll set the world on fire
Cause i could not satisfy her

Satisfaction seems to be
The key that turns, the air we breathe
It brings us now so confidently crawling on our knees
So you try to satisfy the hours
But you're ignorance won't fight the fires
And your innocence can't kill desire
So you're not as perfect as you seem to be

I suddenly feel really moody, and I have no idea why. Okay I kinda know why.
Anyway, that aside, nats this year seemed really unspectacular. haha okay la most of our matches over already, shalln't care if what i say sounds demoralizing. but it feels less of a big deal than like last year and 2 years ago. okay whatever.

Can't stand it how some people are so fricking lucky and they don't even know it. They're just not satisfied, and that's like reallllly irritating. Like ugh just go kill yourself. Seriously, that's damn irritating. okay, that was damn random. ugh the more i blog, the more i suck at blogging.

Sunday, March 23, 2008 . 9:01 PM

omgoshhhh! Josiah Leming from American idol season 7 is the love!
okay so he didn't make top 24, what the heck it doesn't matter, Warner music signed him on and omgosh he has he own single x)
Okay and I did like him cuz he's cute, but I wasn't fangirling over him, but omgosh after listening to his songs on youtube, omgosh he's super talented.





Okay go watch this: Josiah performing grace kelly on American Idol x)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4aILqjzKAU&NR=1

And this: Josiah performing his own composition, To run
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISFOnGbCyeA

And okay here's why i really like Josiah Leming so much:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lbjc3ypUfO4
Josiah Leming - Her
The song's really well composed, and he sings it really well, but besides that, the lyrics are practically poetry! I love the lyrics! He's crazily talented.

Saturday, March 22, 2008 . 8:26 PM

Cold as you - Taylor Swift

You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take
You take the very best of me
So I start a fight cause I need to feel something
And you do what you want
Cause I'm not what you wanted

Oh, what a shame
What a rainy ending given to a perfect day
So just walk away
No use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

Oh, what a shame
What a rainy ending given to a perfect day
So just walk away
No use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you

Oh, what a shame
What a rainy ending give to a perfect day
Every smile you fake is so condescending
Counted all the scars you made
Now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you

Everyone cares for the people or things that're important to them, but forget that they might be important to someone else. And it's so true isn't it. It's hard to move on, but no one cares if it's harder on the people that're forgotten. Is it silly to place importance in something or someone that never placed the same importance in you? Whatever, this post is incoherent.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008 . 1:35 AM

Am tired.
Reached home past midnight today, and would have loved to stay out longer. but damn, got training tmr (as in today).
Holidays past damn fast no time no time.
And I seriously suck.
As in, someone has to like shake some sense into me, or like make my brain work.
I fell ASLEEP next to the oven when baking yesterday. And cuz the oven has no timer, my cookies baked for 2 hours. And when i woke up, my house was filled with smoke.
And the oven was burnt.
And i spent today morning doing damage control, which does not seem to help my house still stinks of burnt cookies.
And my mum made me go see the doc for smoke inhalation.
The doc was terribly amused.
And my clothes STINK and I can't wash the smell out of my hair.
But I think I should count my blessings. Hey at least I woke up when I did, and the oven didn't explode or anything drastic like that.
Yeah well, after all the hectic activity of today, I went to the doc before my match and well, I'm so off form these days. I need to fix my brain.
I think even Jacq's less lag than me nowadays.
Ahh crap, don't like coming home cuz I'm a horrible daughter, and I get nagged at all the time.

Oh anyway,
Happy Birthday Felicia!

Went for Fish & Co with El, Sandy, Jass and the birthday girl today x)
And we didn't get to take a polaroid. oh whatever, had fun anyway x)
Okay I shall upload the photos tomorrow, too lazy to find the USB cable now.

Oh yeah, and Monday spending practically the whole day with teamates was fun. Haha ate alot of good food on that day. Mabel is damn funny, someone should give her a prize. Mabel and I always get excited on Monday nights, and that is just weird. Oh yeah Jacq was my idol on Monday, just for being Jacq. Jacq's fun when she's in a crazy mood, and her crazy mood is really subtle. Her really crazy mood is probably comparable to how TianYi is like when she's sedated.

okay it's past 2am and I need to go SLEEP and hopefully I'll wake up tomorrow less disoriented. Seriously, my brain needs to come back from its holiday.

Sunday, March 9, 2008 . 11:45 AM

Had sleepover.

This is Jasselyn
cause Jodee says that I need to write my name!
Okay anw, Jodee Lee is the funniest person ever and I Love her alot! We had alot of fun yesterday and she was really high yesterday which was really great cause she couldn't stop bouncing like a penguin!
And I like Jodee alot who is really funny but really intellectual and insightful at the same time & I like talking to her especially when she has funny jokes like Mr Caterpillar!

Heh this is Juan
I think after today I'm going to appreciate Jodee so much more because she is so funny and adorable. Haha maybe it's because she is having mood swings but anyway she made us super happy all through sleepover. Heh and all of them here are damn weird, so it's super amusing :D WE ARE GOING TO HAVE ICE CREAM SOON! AND BRUNCH TOGETHER! But bottomline, Juan loves Jodee super alot, because she makes me look forward to school. :D



HI! THIS IS JODEE NOW!
Haha and Felicia's computer has spell check, so it makes me realize that i cannot spell 'embarassing' and 'critisize'. and for those that think i spelt those words correctly, i didn't. Anyway, sleepover was so fun! and i had a long long chat with Jass, and it's damn nice to talk to her! and Felicia is a polar bear, her room is freezing and she says she's hot. Haha i wanted to have an emo post kay, but like Flea, Jass and Juan are sun bright and shiny people, i'm happy now. And did i mention i was having such crazzzzy mood swings yesterday. And Felicia went anti-social and drank XO yesterday and Daoeeed all of us. And she refuses to guest blog, this is so saddening :( Oh I only have ONE photo :( waiting for Juan to send me all photos from her cam!

Juan and Felicia!

Haha this is dumb i only have one photo of the slpovr in my handphone that isn't blurred or dark. okay must must have the photos in Juan's cam soon x) I suddenly feel a surge of loveeeee for these people, they're all such wonderful, funny, amazing people! I'm so glad to have known all of them, they make going to school worthwhile and so so much more bearable. And here are some photos from a month ago,


Dinner at NewyorkNewyork!


Jass, Ellyn and me! The rest were late, and El makes a funny face. haha.

Have been stressed out lately, but I'm so glad for my friends, makes life so much happier. And when I think I have it bad, at least I have great friends to hang out with, to talk to, and just knowing they're there and learning from each of them cuz they're all such amazing people. I hope I get to keep all my friends forever, and I hope they don't change and I never ever want to lose another friend again.

And what I want this holiday, I want to hang with Dawn and Ella! One entire day. 24hours together. Is that too much to ask?

And I wanna hang out with MichelleChan! I miss her so much :( Nevermind I'll see her tomorrow!

And I want everything to be alright.

Friday, March 7, 2008 . 10:36 PM

Cold as you - Taylor Swift

You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take
You take the very best of me
So I start a fight cause I need to feel something
And you do what you want
Cause I'm not what you wanted

Oh, what a shame
What a rainy ending given to a perfect day
So just walk away
No use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away
And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

Oh, what a shame
What a rainy ending give to a perfect day
Every smile you fake is so condescending
Counted all the scars you made
Now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you.

~
This is all the past, but somehow i've never put it behind me. It started going wrong when it felt like what I was feeling, what made me unhappy seemed so silly and stupid. Then I bottled it all up and kept it away because things happened and I didn't have the liberty to be weak and silly anymore. I wanted to be someone you could rely on, but all you saw was that I changed into someone hateful. And now when it's way too late for explanations, I find the words to say.

And no, I couldn't expect you to understand, but I didn't realize that in time. I tried very hard to become someone better, to keep up with you maybe. But I failed terribly and it all came down to nothing. And no, I wouldn't expect you know how hard I tried because its true, I didn't get anywhere. To you, it just looks like I did nothing but get more frustrated and less likeable.

It got so stupid after awhile, when I would be the only one blaming myself and spending hours on end brooding over stuff that you didn't give a shit about. I didn't know how to cope with it and like the incompetent person i am, I got angry and I started hating. And it was my fault again, just like how it has always been. Because I couldn't be the better person.

You may think you're above this, you might even know what I'm talking about. But I bet you never knew how much difference it would have made to me if you had just thanked me for trying. Or tried to assure me that I was doing alright. You never thought that maybe I just needed some approval, or that the self-righteous things you said actually cut much deeper that you intended it to.

I'll never admit that I care so much, because it would all just be nothing to you again, wouldn't it?
And I'm not good enough to give without expecting anything back in return.

There. I just wrote another load of crap that means alot to me but nothing to you.