Sunday, December 30, 2007 . 12:27 PM

My cast is removed, but i still can't walk properly and finally i can get back some control over my own life but that's the hard part i guess.
There were many things i planned for this holiday, that i never did get to do. This year was really interesting, many things happened that changed my perspective completely, and made me want alot more out of my life than what I have. And when the holidays came I had alot to look forward too. I really wanted to use this holiday to move on, and i was more than willing to leave certain people or certain things behind. I never liked change but then when it seemed like it was all starting to work out, I had to go fracture my ankle. It's really frustrating because there were things that I just started on and things that I was psyched to get started with and it wasn't easy for me to get over some of my own issues. And new stuff, they don't have any strong foundations to stop them from crumbling, so they just crumble. And I don't even get to go back to square one and start over again, I go further back than that. What really gets to me is the unfairness of all of this. Why is it that when I finally make some progress, this happens. I was quite relaxed when i was in a cast. No one had any expectations of me and I didn't expect myself to do anything either. Yet when I finally get to remove my cast I start hating how I never moved on from when I fractured my ankle. All the expectations come back, much much much worse than before. Because now I have to worry about recovering as quickly as possible, and to do more than a month's worth of catching up. Before the whole fracturing my ankle thing, I used to think that as long as do my best for something, I would be able to acheive it, and even if i don't, I would be satisfied. But now I'm not so sure anymore. It could be easy to recover from this though, but that's not in my own hands.